Gone are the days when diving deep into his divine wisdom, Dr. Funky Astral Kumar’s life saving quotes alone doesn’t do it for me. I need a live, face-to-face exchange with them from time to time to restore my faith in life. I am blessed that Guruji gave me Immediately Entry. Below is the gist of our life-affirming exchange, for the benefit of his fans from around the world.
His Divine Wisdom: My son, why are you here?
Me: Feeling a little sad, Guruji. That’s why I wanted to see you.
HDW (smiling mysteriously): Do Sirsasana:, Son. Immediately.
Me: Why, Master? Is it so… er… because the blood will run to my head and make me feel better?
HDW (laugh out loud🙂 You would think so, but no. Didn’t you say you were down? What happens when you stand on your head? Down goes up. and goes up and down. Proving that it is all a matter of perception leads to the divine union of man and woman in Jingbang’s yin-yang. more importantly, when you do Posture:, your wallet will drop and we will be able to take your credit card without bothering you.
I (cry with gratitude🙂 thank you, micro guruji, thank you.
HDW: My son, what else is bothering you? Tell me boldly.
Me: why are they making a sequel to it Gadar: A Love Story, Guru ji? Why now? Isn’t the world suffering enough?
HDW: Do you know what Bhishma Pitamah said while dying on a bed of arrows?
Me: Guruji, what did he say?
HDW (scrolling on your phone): I do not know. That’s why I asked you. I am participating in a closed group quiz for Guruji.
Me: Oh… well… but what? mutiny’Sequel, master, if you don’t mind?
HDW (smiling extravagantly): What Is A sequel, my baby? It’s a continuum, isn’t it? Ghadri Part 2 is just an example of the space-time continuum… with Sunny Paaji taking place in our time. that’s all Maya… Memsabi. it could be worse. imagine if they made a sequel to it Singh Saab the Great. Next question.
Me: I have an inexplicable pain in my stomach, Guruji. I’ve had several tests done, the docs say nothing is wrong with me, but it worries me.
HDW: Come closer, my son.
I obeyed Guruji.
Ker-tired!
I: niabba! What? Why did you punch me so hard, Guruji?
HDW: Does it hurt?
my yes (Weeping) like hell.
HDW (to harass spiritually🙂 Look, now you know the reason for your stomach ache. Next question.
I (wiping my tears): My ironsmith Marimuthu has no respect for me, Guruji. Despite my repeated requests, he irons my jeans from the front crease. This is bothering me, your wit.
HDW (Shoulders tremble in silent laughter): so simple. Just wear your jeans to the side. After this the crease will go on both sides.
Me: But if I turn my jeans to the side, won’t I be able to wear just one leg? What about my other side?
HDW: Do you have another pair?
My yes
HDW: Wear them on the other leg. Straightforward.
Me: Guruji… er… wouldn’t it be easier to send my jeans to another ironsmith?
HDW: Wrong. This is an acknowledgment of weakness. Do you know what Bakasura said to the villager when he came to offer himself as food?
Me: No, Master. What did he say?
HDW (laugh out loud): Apply ginger-garlic paste on yourself and wait for a while. I am chopping onions and coriander.
Krishna Sastri Devulapalli is a satirist. He has written four books and edited one anthology.
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