Her Story: I love my partner very much but whenever this special friend of mine comes to me, he fights with me the next day. I think he feels insecure while I never let him feel the way he feels about himself. My friend is just a friend and I have made it clear in many ways but on top of that these fights never end and I have started avoiding my partner because of the unpleasantness. The question is, if I stop talking to my friend, there will be someone else who will have a problem next time… how do I work through this with him?
Vishal Bhardwaj, cofounder and relationship coach at Predictions for Success: Insecurities and comparisons in relationships are more common than it seems. The difference is only in the ‘duration and magnitude’ of the emotion. Most of the couples face such issues especially in the first 1-2 years of a relationship as this is the time when each feels that they are the most deserving partner!
For him: Comparing humans is the most impossible thing. The characteristics you are insecure about are personality that can make an impression but it is your life values and your inner self that gives life to a long term relationship. Don’t compare yourself to her friend, because there is no end to comparison, it is useless. This insecurity will eventually create an atmosphere of doubt which destroys the independence and trust of any relationship and hence breaks the roots.
For him: The worst thing you can do is to stop telling your friend to your partner. The more you hide, the more insecure your partner will feel. The only way to clear the clouds of insecurity is through open communication and honesty. It may take some time, but it will definitely work. I would also suggest that you make some group plans if possible, so that your partner is more comfortable spending time with their friends and especially that special friend.
AIR Atman in Ravi, Spiritual Leader and Founder of AIR Institute of Realization and AIR Center of Enlightenment
Him: If you are in a live-in with a woman and there is no trust between the two of you, then it is better not to continue with your relationship. A relationship is based on a foundation of trust, love and communication. What is Trust? Total Reliance, unconditional surrender to anyone. Moreover, if there is no trust, then there cannot be love in the relationship. Love and trust are two sides of the same coin. So, if you want your relationship to grow into a better, stronger and deeper bond and partnership, you need to learn to trust your partner. You can express your concerns and fears openly to your partner. But make sure you express your concerns while maintaining your trust. There is nothing other than ‘trust’ that can solve this issue in your relationship. After all, what is a relationship without trust? Nothing at all!
Him: If you are living with a man and you include another man in your life, cooking with him, spending time with him doing various activities, then you are creating a situation and creating trouble for yourself. Are invited. A relationship is based on trust, love and communication. If there is transparency and openness in communication, then there will be no particular reason for such fights to happen. The challenge in a relationship is not to let your partner feel insecure. As the insecurity grows, the relationship starts falling apart. Tell your side of the story to your partner and listen patiently and understand what they have to say. In the end, life is a matter of choices. You cannot go in two boats. If you truly love the man you are living with, then giving up on small things for the sake of the relationship is definitely worth the price rather than losing the love of your life.
Read also:
Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor’s relationship decodes by body language expert
Read also:
What your wedding date says about your relationship (Part 3: 15 to 22)
Read also:
Weekly Love Horoscope: September 5 to 11, 2022