I seldom get as much pleasure when I strike a great bargain as it does in that euphoric moment. Only experienced preachers will understand this. Non-bargainers will ask irritating questions like how much money did you save after all the wrangling, but that’s not the point. Those who have cut their teeth on Mumbai’s Linking Road or at the legendary Chor Bazaar or their match in other cities will attest that winning the intensely negotiating brain game sounds like a million dollars, even if it is. It’s just a matter of few bucks.
You bargain for the thrill of it, and it’s no longer a means to an end, just as a stroll down Marine Drive is a means to understanding oceanography.
You can get a better understanding of the character by watching the live bargain. On Fashion Street, if you temporarily offer ₹100 for a T-shirt with a tag of ₹110, hoping you’re not taking offense, you’re a gentle person with a gentle nature. If, however, you handicap the Hawker by withholding ₹35 as your final offer, you really belong to our clan. Welcome to the game of bargaining blood.
acquired skills
A kindly Danish industrialist once said that no deal should be made other than a happy buyer and a happy seller. But such a sweet feeling belongs to another era. Today, when self-interest is paramount, you cannot afford to be overly concerned about the opposing side. If cricket is shooting except war, then bargaining is a duel with no swords. Its twists and turns bring out our hidden talents: patience and perseverance, the skill of plotting to walk like a grandmaster, and our historical ability to waver and faint at the soaring price of an “authentic” Tanjore painting.
There is a scientific technique to low-risk, high-reward bargaining and there are books and online materials to tell you how to put it into practice. The first thing to do is to hide your intentions. If you enter a gem shop in Hyderabad looking for coral sets, you should see everything in the shop except corals. Your noose may be a pearl necklace, which may be so expensive that you may be identified as a potentially big spender. After carefully studying the pearls against the light, you put it aside for a moment, and ask for samples of garnets, amethysts, lemon quartz, pearls… almost as a thought, you toss in the corals. We do. Once you have a bright pile on the counter, it’s time to bargain for discounts on each type. Now, you know what the items really are (in technical talk, this is called “price discovery”). Bravely loaded, you then reach for the hug.
By fast discarding other items you consider too expensive, you grab the discounted garnet you want, adding that you have a flight to catch soon. Well, the classic formula goes like this but discretion is advised. The shopkeeper may have seen the same book and the same website.
If you just don’t feel like bargaining without a hitch, you can go on shopping expeditions with your more stoic friends and get tips. You will learn human psychology, mind reading and market trends. Most important, you will learn about the ups and downs of luck. As in the flea market, there are no permanent winners in life, no permanent losers. What you win on cauliflower in the vegetable market, you may lose on beans and bitter gourd. It’s possible that the ancient water pot you were assured was hand-carved, machine-made in a neighboring industrial fiesta. But this is how the cookie crumbles. Even the star bargains have been eliminated on their off-days.
When we realize we have been sold a dummy, we live another day to bargain.
jairam.menon@gmail.com