TeaThe daughter of one of my patients complained about her father’s lazy lifestyle. Her daily routine started with opening the door for the milkman. Then he would pick up his smartphone and check it all day long, even while watching TV for hours. Contributed to their mid-morning and late night after lunch. As she continued, the 70-year-old diabetic remained unconcerned and told me: “I have nothing to do and neither do I have any friends. I have done nothing more than attend my office work and now I am leading a retired life.”
I hear such complaints frequently from busy young professionals. The explanation given by the elderly parents is also the same – “Nothing to do and everyone at home is busy with their respective lives.”
The next patient, a 60-year-old woman with high blood pressure, always took care of everyone in her family. After her son left, she became fully involved in the care of her husband. The lifelong caregiver felt an emptiness after her husband passed away. But she turned her life around daily walks, singing, and teaching neighborhood children. Afraid of falling ill and becoming dependent, she never misses her medical check-ups. When she needed a hip replacement, she moved to her son in another city and, after he recovered, returned to her independent life.
The building blocks that define one’s attitude towards life get assembled in the formative years. Often childhood is spent following the obligatory routine. Some children with broad exposures succumb to the pressure of excelling at everything and miss out on the joy of learning. Parents and school teachers play an important role in influencing the attitudes of children.
The principal of a school would always ask the top rankers, “Okay. Good. You have come first in class. What else have you done?” Not every topper has an answer. She encouraged children to participate in extra-curricular activities and told parents, “Children who do well in everything will do well in studies too.”
Leaving everything else to focus on one area for a long time leads to a monotonous routine. Rarely, if the hobbies and passions are kept alive, they will rise to the throne in tough times. In fact, lifestyle coaches recommend setting aside “me-time” and maintaining a work-life balance. This advice is true not only for job seekers but also for housewives. When the sole focus becomes irrelevant at retirement or when the kids move on, a sense of redundancy builds up. It takes a lot of effort to reorganize life and find a new purpose. In times like these, it helps to rekindle a hobby, learn a new skill, or connect with people.
My patient and her daughter looked happy a month later. He found it easy to follow my simple advice, “Don’t sit in one place for too long. Get up every 30 minutes, take a walk, and look around.” Betty also made her work by engaging her in word puzzles and board games. There are many ways to make life meaningful and enjoyable. Everyone has to find out what works.
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