opinion | Cultivate the Habit of Caring – An Epidemic Reflection

Ceto came to our home after losing his human family to the second wave of COVID-19. He was our epidemic dog. And what a dog! A tall, long-limbed black Labrador, slightly deaf, with reddish-brown eyes, sloping jaws, and a silvery muzzle.

Seto, it turned out, was the Greek name for a major sea goddess in charge of all the dangers of the sea. In mythology, Seto was the mother of the Echidna, the Gorgons, the Nemean Lion, and the Sphinx; Wikipedia stated that the name could also mean ‘sea monster’.

It was definitely some sort of otherworldly creature. The day we brought her home, she sat on the living room ‘pivot’ like a friendly seal, and looked at her new family. She was no hilarious puppy; She was eight years old, which is a middle-aged canine. Our younger son, who was alone during the pandemic, sat beside him. From that moment on, he became her dog, and she, his person. It seemed as if this had been his home for the rest of his life.

Taking Toll in Three Waves

That month, when Seto came to us, we were still dealing with a second wave of the pandemic. Pandemic, pandemic: I had never imagined using this word in my lifetime. Through its three waves, the pandemic had reached all of us in one form or the other. In the first wave I already had a severe case of COVID-19. I stayed in the hospital for 10 days, my lungs were infected, and then weeks of severe fatigue. In the second wave, my mother-in-law tested positive. She was 80 years old, and weak. We arranged for an oxygen concentrator and a video consultation. The first pulmonologist prescribed a cocktail of ivermectin, azithromycin, favipiravir, and more; We quickly moved from one ethical medical practice to another, who told us to stick with paracetamol, fluids, and regular oxygen checkups. She recovered at home. In the third wave, everyone got it — my teenage son, my husband, and probably, although he tested negative and vehemently refused to admit it was anything but a terrible case of the flu, my 86 year old father Omicron seemed benign, but our young son was left with a painful, paroxysmal cough that lasted for two months.

relieves pain on different

First, we didn’t tell the kids that Ceto lost his family to COVID-19. It was difficult to talk even at three remotes. So much damage had already been done in the air. Everyone had lost someone, or someone – in the extended family; at work; among friends.

This is what the pandemic took away. Circles of relationships surround us throughout our lives; They tell us that we are not alone in this world. Like festival lights twinkling from balconies, these networks of care are human connections, big and small, to one’s own, in the sky of existence. Suddenly, without warning, the pieces of wire were turning black.

we can’t be islands

And then there was separation. Isolation: The word sounds somewhat like desolate, and there is an abyss to it. It has its roots in Latin insula, meaning island. The first permanent isolation hospital for plague victims was established in the 15th century on an island near Venice.

Separate, then island. At the start of the pandemic, one read about a child in Europe who was buried alone by attendants wearing PPE, as the family was not allowed to attend.

“The worst part is not even being able to say goodbye,” said a friend from her hospital bed; She had lost a brother in another ICU.

Across the world, millions of people have died from COVID-19. Among them was Seto’s family.

For others, there was also anxiety: an unknown, free-floating fear of the unknown. A psychotherapist friend says that communities will process these feelings in different ways for some time to come.

When I was in the hospital, my younger son would video call me every evening to ask for help with his homework. He didn’t need any help. It was his way of checking out how I was. Read it, read it, he urged, and let me know if it’s okay.

He was saying: Tell me you are fine.

daily care tasks

But if the pandemic took away so much, it rekindled something. It gave a value to things that were used for one: sunlight; coffee shop; commute to work. It rediscovered a way to reconnect through everyday tasks of care – finding a hospital bed; Sending a flask of ‘Kadha’; Measuring a breath.

I rediscovered the Stoics during my time in the hospital. Between nebulization and IV changes, I read and read. Epictetus, the slave whose leg was broken by his master during Nero’s rule, and who was forced to leave Rome when the philosophers were banished from the city. Seneca, exiled to Corsica. Marcus Aurelius, philosopher-emperor.

In difficult times, says Epictetus, one must play their part and then let go without remorse. “Very well, what else am I worried about? Because my part is done. The business belongs to someone else, the captain.”

According to Seneca, one must be prepared at any time: “Let us not postpone anything. Let us balance the books of life every day.”

It is Marcus Aurelius who explains how to proceed: “You have lived your life. Now take what is left and live well. He who does not transmit light creates his own darkness.”

transmit light.

What do dogs bring to our lives? a lot: they love unconditionally; They are what they are; They care, and they tell us to care. They need ear drops, brushing, bathing, feeding, walking, picking up after them. At the end of each working day, they are happily at the door to greet us. As non-human beings, they teach us an essential element of what it means to be human – caring and making a habit of caring.

Aristotle said that is what we become by doing what we do: “Moral excellence comes as a result of habit. We become just by doing justice, temperance by doing temperate, brave by acting brave.” ”

habit of caring

In many ways, during the pandemic, communities rediscovered the way they care, and rediscovered the meaning of community – by doing small, systematic acts of care. With the formation of a WhatsApp group, arrangements for home meals started for the people living in isolation. For relief, college students brought their laptops. Many people recharged their old phones and devices to help the less privileged students. Nurses in PPE played music in the wards to help patients feel less apprehensive.

In rural areas, gram panchayats opened school buildings to shelter migrants returning from the city. He gave them pots of paint and paintbrushes so that they could renovate schools and earn a living while taking shelter. In a village panchayat, where a sculptor and his family were under quarantine, panchayat members gave him a piece of wood and carving tools so that he could use his skills to create a work of art. Once he had completed it, they bought the idol from him. Some panchayats have even passed a resolution that no one will go hungry in their area. ASHA (Accredited Social Health Activist), India’s frontline community health worker, went door-to-door to check up on vulnerable people. Anganwadi workers, who usually look after the youngest children in society, helped convince hesitants to get the vaccine – even, when necessary, by holding the hand of frightened ones.

Not least was the role of civil society organizations and volunteers, who came forward to help people in difficulty. He distributed meal kits. He arranged for shelter. He recharged the phone to help those in need of reconnecting with loved ones. He bought fruits and vegetables and distributed them in slums and labor shelters to help distressed farmers. They reached migrant shelters with laptops and dongles to help workers apply for relief. In far-flung areas, he delivered essential medicines to the sick at their homes. He organized groups of volunteers to translate information into different languages. They helped find beds, ambulances, oxygen and essential medicines. They networked and shared information generously. Often, they worked tirelessly throughout the night, and then continued till morning.

transmit light.

You are not alone, he told the needy. It was extraordinary, and very dynamic. As written by George Eliot mid March“What do we live for, if it’s not to make life less difficult for each other?”

The writer is in IAS