If you fear abandonment in relationships, it’s important to understand why this fear exists and what you can do to overcome it. (Image: shutterstock)
With time and effort, it is possible to overcome this fear and build strong, fulfilling relationships with others.
Relationships can be complicated, and they can bring up a lot of different feelings. One of the most common fears people experience in relationships is the fear of abandonment. This fear can be debilitating and can cause individuals to sabotage or avoid relationships altogether. Psychiatrist Sadaf Siddiqui explained that “As humans, we all have a dire need for emotional and physical connection from the moment we are born.”
She emphasized the importance of skin-to-skin contact for babies and the power of a hug from a friend or partner when feeling down. Additionally, he emphasized that individuals typically develop a stronger bond with those who truly listen and display empathy. Siddiqui relates these theories to the notion of abandonment anxiety, implying that a lack of emotional closeness may contribute to this feeling.
Sadaf Siddiqui states, “Fear of abandonment is a severe form of relationship anxiety that may result from a combination of factors such as childhood trauma, insecure attachment bonds, or a personality disorder (such as borderline). It is not a diagnosis, but Symptom of a larger underlying issue.” He shared some ways to ease the fear of abandonment.
Fear of abandonment can develop for a variety of reasons. If a person has experienced persistent neglect, abuse, dismissal, or ignorance from a parent or caregiver, this can lead to a fear of abandonment, even if unconsciously. Additionally, one or more traumatic events may affect a person’s biology, such as brain chemistry, or personality, resulting in a fear of abandonment. Growing up in an unstable family environment with low levels of emotional warmth, physical affection, or lack of consideration for personal needs can also contribute to fear of abandonment.
Fear of abandonment can appear as:
- Constantly looking for signs that your friend or partner doesn’t approve of you (or doesn’t want to be with you).
- Having a desire to please others at the expense of one’s own well-being.
- Lack of personal boundaries in your relationships.
- Staying in incomplete relationships because the fear of being alone or lonely is high.
- The need for repeated confirmation regarding the smallest things.
- Struggling with self-esteem and self-reliance.
4 tips to reduce the fear of abandonment:
- Strengthen your self-identity by actively participating in activities that promote self-assurance, such as sports or the arts.
- Seek a number of resources for support, including counselors, friends, online communities, spiritual groups, or a therapist.
- Develop a daily routine that prioritizes meeting your basic needs, such as paying attention to sleep hygiene, regular exercise, and proper nutrition.
- Take time to reflect on challenging emotions and process them effectively through different methods such as therapy, journaling, or meditation.
- Fear of abandonment in relationships is a common fear that can arise due to a variety of situations. If you fear abandonment in relationships, it’s important to understand why this fear exists and what you can do to overcome it.
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