Valentine’s Day through a single’s lens: Love, choices, and new connections in Bengaluru

As February arrives, the air is filled with love, with plans for Valentine’s Day in full bloom. Bengaluru appears to have embraced its romantic side with open arms. From flower-laden streets to cafes adorned with heart-shaped decor, couples strolling hand in hand, indulging in candlelit dinners, and exchanging roses, exquisite chocolates being crafted and the sweet symphony of love songs filling the air, every corner of the city seems to whisper tales of romance.

But amidst this grand celebration of love, the city’s singles are also carving out their own space – whether by embracing solo self-care, seeking deeper connections, or redefining what love means. From book clubs to hiking groups and intimate gatherings, they try to find joy in meaningful interactions in many forms, whether through a swipe, a chance meeting, or an unexpected conversation.

This Valentine’s Day, we tell you what Bengaluru’s singles are doing to find love, connections, and comfort.

Singles Mixer: Start with a story

Valentine’s Day often comes with a certain pressure, leaving many singles either avoiding the occasion altogether or feeling out of place amidst a sea of couple-centric events. The “Book Lovers’ Singles Mixer” held earlier this month, offered a refreshing alternative: romance was not the primary goal but a delightful possibility. Instead of swiping left or right in the dating apps, attendees were encouraged to connect over their shared passion for literature. As the event’s tagline says, “Great connections start with a good story.”

Unlike the typical Valentine’s Day revelry filled with candlelit dinners and couple’s retreats, this gathering had a different kind of romance at its core – one fueled by words, characters and the shared love for stories. ”Book Lovers’ Singles Mixer” is an event organised by Atta Galatta in Indiranagar designed to bring together bibliophiles in search of both a good read and perhaps, a meaningful connection.

Shelves lined with literary classics, contemporary best sellers and well-worn paperbacks framed the scene, creating the perfect setting for a love story or, at the very least, an evening of engaging literary discourse. The night was not just about books; it was about breaking down the awkwardness that often comes with meeting someone new.

Helming this unique initiative was Radhika Agrawal, author of Red Flags and Rishtas, a witty and relatable novel exploring the complexities of modern dating. As a writer who has delved into the intricacies of relationships through her works, Agrawal was the perfect host to guide the participants through an evening filled with quirky icebreakers and playful dating games. “You have to put yourself out there and stay optimistic”, said Radhika at the event. “Love arrives when you least expect it.”

People also feel that dating apps create a barrier to genuine connections. 
| Photo Credit:
REUTERS

A ‘messed-up’ dating culture?

But for the average single Bengaluruean, finding love is far from easy. According to Souvik Vas, a software engineer, the city’s dating culture is “pretty messed up.”

“Men complain they can’t find matches, while women say they have too many options but not the right ones. People are chasing the wrong partners and ending up with nothing,” said Vas, who has been living in Bengaluru for six years. ”Since dating is still relatively new in India, where arranged marriages were the norm, many are still figuring it out on their own,” he added.

People also feel that dating apps create a barrier to genuine connections. While they enjoy initial conversation, they believe offline meetings offer a clearer sense of a person’s true nature. ”I don’t like the digital barrier. An hour or two in-person gives a much clearer sense of someone. Online, it’s easy to fake who we are, so do you really know if someone is genuine and stands by their opinions?” said Kshitij Agrawal.

By most accounts, in today’s dating landscapes, opportunities to meet people have increased, but authentic relationships are harder to find. While dating apps offer exciting possibilities, they often overwhelm and confuse users. “Women now have the freedom to choose, but dating apps create a mindset where there is always another option, making real connections harder,” said Swati Hegde, a romance author. She believes we should choose partners “without turning dating into a game.”

The fast-paced nature of dating apps and instant connections feels superficial to some people, who prefer the traditional ways of meeting through mutual friends, at cafes, or during social events.
| Photo Credit:
THULASI KAKKAT

Back to offline dating

In a city where dating apps once reshaped modern romance, a seismic shift unfolds as people seem to be moving away from the endless swipes and screens. Instead, they are reclaiming the thrill of organic, face-to-face connections. ”I think there is a growing shift back to offline dating post-COVID. While apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge saw a boom, many are now disillusioned by endless choices and negative experiences. As a result, singles are turning to in-person events,” said Radhika.

Clearly, the fast-paced nature of dating apps and instant connections feels superficial to some people, who prefer the traditional ways of meeting through mutual friends, at cafes, or during social events. Gayatri Rawat, who is based out of Delhi and has recently moved here, agrees. “My friends told me that the dating culture in Bengaluru is thriving, but honestly, being an old school, I’m not a fan of this dating scene,” says Gayatri. “I prefer meeting people organically.”

In-person chemistry

This belief that chemistry is best built in person appears to be fast-spreading in Bengaluru, which is evident in the increasing popularity of offline dating events, speed dating sessions, and book-themed mixers where people can connect beyond the digital facade. The single’s mixer for book lovers, for instance, was crammed with people eager for the possibilities of love and connections.

“There is no such thing as emotional safety in love. You can’t guarantee your heart won’t be broken or that there will be a happy ending. It’s not a movie. You have to put yourself out there and stay optimistic,” said Radhika while talking about the vulnerability that comes with seeking love. “Don’t keep a checklist and tick it off. Sometimes, the person who is not your type is actually the right one,” she advises.