As we get older, our experience of time changes, often resulting in a more rapid sense of time.
As we get older, our experience of time changes, often resulting in a more rapid sense of time.
Parents often say: “If I had a pound for every time I heard ‘Are we there yet?’, I would be rich.” Having three young children myself, I know all too well the feeling of dread when the 30-minute drive into a five-hour drive begins.
It starts with a lot of decency in our family. “Mom, are we almost there now?” Moves out of the rear seats. But this approach is increasingly replaced by an aggressive cross-examination, separating what I said earlier about how much time was left in the journey versus how long I’m currently saying.
By the end of the drive, I’ve promised myself I’ll never take them anywhere again. But why is it that trips seem so excruciatingly long for kids? One reason is that our experience of time changes as we get older, often resulting in a sense of time more quickly as we get older. It is recognized by the feeling that “Christmas comes more quickly every year”.
It is believed that as we get older, time passes more quickly, because with increasing age, any period of time becomes a small proportion of our lives to date. For example, at age seven, one year is 14.30% of your entire life; That’s only 1.43% of your life at age 70. As such, a five-hour car journey may seem longer to a five-year-old than to a 50-year-old, simply because it is a large part of a five-year-old’s life.
But there is much more than that. As we grow up, we develop a greater understanding of distance and geography. This knowledge provides us with markers and pointers that we use to understand how much has been traveled and how much is left.
For example, on a trip from Manchester to Devon, I find that when we clean up Birmingham, I’m almost halfway there, and that knowledge helps structure the time for me. I also have access to Satnav, which provides arrival times and alerts me of upcoming delays. The absence of this knowledge in children means that they are more dependent on asking adults how much time is left to judge the progress of the journey.
no control
Children’s uncertainty about how long has elapsed and for how long persists due to a lack of control over the journey. It is the adults who choose which service station to stop at and which route to take. It can also contribute to drawn trips for children.
This is because temporary uncertainty, or a feeling of not knowing when something is going to happen, can slow the passage of time. As adults, many of us have had significant experience with this.
Think about the last time a train inexplicably stopped outside the station, or when the “wait” sign flashed endlessly in baggage claim after a flight. I bet none of these delays went by quickly – and updates from the train driver or airport staff in these moments would have been very welcome. It is the lack of control, not knowing, that causes these events to drag on.
When there is uncertainty about the timing, monitoring it becomes a priority. Human beings have limited cognitive ability and cannot pay attention to everything all the time. That’s why we prioritize what we process based on our circumstances.
When time becomes uncertain, we pay more attention to it than usual, and as a result we feel that time is passing too slowly. Time is often uncertain for kids, so they’ll pay attention to the progress of any trip without distracting themselves.
Saw pot never boils
In the end, time in the car can drag on for kids simply because they’re willing to do nothing but look out the window. It’s a test of boredom for children, while their parents in front of them are probably savoring the opportunity to sit and reflect.
Children’s desire for excitement and entertainment means that boredom often sets in quickly, and that boredom also slows the passage of time. Like temporary uncertainty, our boredom level affects our experience of time by changing the amount of attention we pay to it.
When we’re bored, time seems like it’s crawling by constantly looking at our clock. Conversely, when we are happily engaged, we pay little attention to time because our attention spans prioritize other things. As a result, time passes when we have fun.
your next trip
So what should parents do? Those of you who haven’t yet gone on the big getaway are already rushing to stock up on games and snacks to provide a constant stream of distractions for your kids.
However, I urge caution. Even if you’re like “Are we almost there yet?” manage to reduce. By refraining, you may increase the risk of a new chorus: “I feel sick!”
Being covered in your child’s vomit, both research and experience suggests, is highly likely to make the journey feel long enough for you.
(This article was first published in The Conversation)